Saturday my mother asked me three times what day it was.
She is often confused about what day of the week and what month it is. We noticed this summer in the sweltering heat that she was asking if it was very cold outside. From my perspective, I see the ebb and flow of how she perceives time. It drifts in her mind like waves rushing in, then drawing back and rushing in and drawing back.
Staring at the wall calendar hanging on the refrigerator, she holds a small pocket calendar, trying to match up the dates. Six months ago when she could no longer tell me what she had for lunch, she started keeping a journal. I think it was out of spite at first--so she could prove to me that she was capable of completing everyday activities. Then I think it evolved into her attempting to prove that to herself. Soon after she started, time began to slip.
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| Changing medical appointments causes confusion for my mother. She attempts to keep multiple calendars. Photo taken Saturday, Sept. 13, 2014 inside her home in Diamond, Mo. |
She often asks what day it is so that she can write the date in her journal. She loses track of the sequence and also forgets to write in her journal some days.
Today we made sure she knew what day it was. Today my mother turned 64 years old. When she saw the silly card with flowers that my six-year-old picked out, she cried tears of joy. Or were they sorrow? My heart broke a little more. Happy Birthday, Mom.
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| One of my favorite photos of my mother was taken inside a photo booth in Northpark Mall in Joplin, Mo., circa 1992. She looks so beautiful here, so full of joy. |
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| My mother and I at a private family event inside Mother Road, a coffee shop in downtown Carthage, Mo., on Friday, Oct. 25, 2013. When viewing these two points in time simultaneously, it is especially difficult to see her declining physical state and functioning ability. She looked beautiful that evening. |
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